Saying Goodbye
by mylullabyedelwiess
Summary: When Isaac won't stop "staring" at Clara at the bar, she can't help but get hooked. Two months after they meet, he has to say goodbye to an old friend. Can she help him cope?


**Thank you all for all the kind support! I loved getting all of the reviews for this story. I had posted it immediately after writing a rough draft, so now I've edited it a bit and fixed some really dumb mistakes. Hope you like it! To my chagrin, I am not John Green so the only characters I own are Clara and Charlotte. **

Clara glanced over Charlotte's shoulder once again to see if the guy was still staring. He was. From the moment Clara and Charlotte had arrived at the bar, he had kept his gaze fixed on her, or, at least, she thought he was. It was impossible to tell with those dark sunglasses. "Who wears sunglasses in a bar anyway?" she thought as she looked him over again. He looked a little too young to be in here. Who was she to judge, anyway? She was using the fake ID her brother made her for her eighteenth birthday.

"Ok, is there a hottie behind me or something? Cause you keep looking back there when we agreed to a girls night out," Charlotte's comment brought Clara back to earth. Clara indicated toward the guy.

"He's been staring at me since we got here," Clara said quietly.

"Not bad. Go see what he wants," Charlotte replied without any discretion.

"No way, you go if you want to know so bad! I'm perfectly comfortable."

"I'M not the one he's staring at," Charlotte said with a smirk.

"Oh, fine!" Clara got up and walked up to the mysterious guy. "Can I help you? You've been staring at me for the last hour." The guy smirked.

"Have not."

"Then what were you looking at so intensely?"

"Nothing," this guy's confidence was starting to bug her.

"You were just staring into space? I find it hard to believe you could daydream in this loud club." The guy sighed.

"I wasn't staring at anything because I'm blind. I was however awkwardly listening in to your conversation." Clara laughed. She immediately felt bad for confronting the guy, but she wasn't willing to let him know that.

"And why would you do that?" The guy looked uncomfortable for a moment. She smirked when she realized he probably expected her to freak out about him being blind.

"Well... You had a pretty voice," he said with a little less confidence this time. Clara gave a nervous laugh and smiled.

"Well you should have said hi. I might have been talking to you this whole time rather than wasting it with that loser friend of mine back there," Clara heard Charlotte yell out an insult to her from where she was chatting up a probably much older man. The guy laughed loudly.

"Sorry, my mistake. What's your name?"

"Wouldn't you like to know? Why don't you tell me yours first," Clara laughed.

"As an effort to avoid a long guessing game, I shall. I'm Isaac," Isaac said while trying to hold back a laugh.

"Clara," Isaac's smile got bigger. He grabbed her hand and started shaking it.

"It's nice to meet you, Clara," He said as they both smiled at each other.

**One Week Later**

"Favorite book?" Isaac was sitting opposite Clara in a tiny café that was exactly halfway between their houses.

"Tough one. I'm not actually sure. I read so much it's hard to keep track. I've just started reading one called _An Imperial Affliction _which has been really good so far," Clara noticed that Isaac tensed up slightly at the mention of the book. He was back at ease so quickly she almost thought she was making it up.

"A friend of mine read that and said it was good," He said it casually, but Clara could sense something off with him.

"Good. I'll let you know how I like it."

**One Month Later**

"Hey, Isaac, I have a question," Clara said hesitantly. They were snuggled on the couch watching a movie. Well, Clara was watching. Isaac was listening while she whispered descriptions in his ear. Isaac turned in her direction.

"Sure?" He was slightly confused at her approach. Over the last month they had spent pretty much all of their free time getting to know each other. She was usually pretty direct in her questions.

"Ok, I don't know if this is a sore subject with you, but I'm dying to know… How do you text? We've texted, and it never dawned on me till now that you can't really… see the screen," Clara looked over at him with a blush creeping up her cheeks.

"Oh, I have a program that reads it aloud to me. I speak my response into the phone. No big deal," Isaac said. While he still missed his sight, he no longer felt bitter about his loss. Clara sighed in relief that he wasn't upset. The one subject they had avoided was his eyes. Sure, she knew about the cancer, but they had never gone past basic details. They sat quietly for a few minutes while the movie played softly in the background. "You know you can ask me those questions? It doesn't bother me."

"Ok, I just didn't want to hurt you by bringing it up. By the way, do you want to hang out Thursday? I have work tomorrow," Clara said returning her attention to the movie.

"I can't Thursday… How about Friday?" Isaac said quickly.

"That's fine. What are you doing Thursday? You always seem to have something to do then," Clara questioned. She had noticed he was always busy on Thursdays.

"Oh, nothing important… So, how about we go to the park and eavesdrop on people again?" Clara knew something more was going on, but she decided he would tell her when he was ready.

**Two Months Later**

_Thinking about you. __J Want to meet up later? xo -I_

_Sure! __J What time? xo –C_

_3ish sound good? xo–I_

_I'll be there. __J xo- C_

Clara pulled up to Isaac's house in the dark blue, used minivan she had been driving since high school. She walked up the front steps and knocked on the door. Isaac opened it with smile while he motioned to the phone in his hand. As he walked back into the living room, Clara noticed his face grown grim.

"Are you sure, Mrs. Lancaster? She's scared us before," Isaac's already frowning face frowned even more. "I'm so sorry, Mrs. L. I'll be there soon. Can you put her on?" Isaac looked up at Clara while the phone was transferred over.

She whispered, "Are you okay?"

He simply shook his head and turned his attention back to the phone. "Hey, baby. Don't you try and speak. Nope. Not a word. You listen to me. I'm on my way, so don't you dare leave before I can say goodbye. You hear?" There was a pause as the mystery person said something. "Okay, I'll see you soon." Isaac ended the call and turned back to Clara.

"Is everything alright?" Clara was really worried. That phone call did not sound good.

"No… listen, I'm sorry, but I have to go. My friend needs me. We'll reschedule later if that's alright?" Isaac said with sadness she hadn't seen in him yet, and he started fumbling around trying to rush and grab his things. "Damn it! Where are my car keys?"

"Isaac, what's going on? And you know you can't drive."

"I don't have time to explain. I have to… I have to get there. I promised," Isaac suddenly collapsed on the couch.

"Get up. I'll take you if you tell me where we are going and why," Isaac shot up and headed toward the door.

"Children's. I'll explain on the way," They both rushed to the car.

Clara drove for a good ten minutes before finally saying, "Well?" Isaac sighed.

"When I was seventeen, I had a best friend. Augustus. We called him Gus. He was the one who helped me through losing my sight. He was even there for my meltdown which was infamously called The Day of the Smashed Trophies. I actually introduced him to his girlfriend just before that," Isaac was rambling. Clara lightly put a hand on his knee to remind him why he was telling her. "Anyway, he had osteosarcoma, but he had been clean for about a year and a half. It looked like he would be part of the eighty percent that survive that kind. He and his girl were having an epic romance when he found out he wouldn't. The cancer had spread. He was going to be part of the twenty percent. He died not too long after that. It was hard on me, but it was even harder on his girlfriend. She was even sicker than he was. Thyroid cancer that spread to her lungs. She always expected to be the first to go, and she had always hated that she would do that to him. She has survived the last couple years due to some miracle drug. She's why I can never hang out on Thursdays. I always go visit her. Unfortunately, the drug isn't working anymore. She took a turn for the worst today. I have to go see her. One of the last things I did with Gus was promise him I would be there for his girl."

Isaac and Clara sat in silence for a few moments. Clara tried to discreetly wipe away the tears that had started to flow from her eyes, but Isaac noticed.

"I'm so sorry, Isaac. No one should have to go through that. I'll wait outside while you talk to her if you want," Clara said while wiping her eyes. They had just pulled up and Clara as leading him inside.

"No, I want you there. She'll want to meet you anyway. I kind of haven't stopped talking about you every time I visit her," Since Isaac knew what floor she was on, they headed straight to the elevator. He whispered, "Third floor. Room 308."

They grew quiet as they approached the room. A girl lay on the bed. A woman got up from one of the seats and whispered, "She's asleep. Let's step outside for a minute." As soon as they left the room Isaac turned and pulled the woman into a firm embrace. "Oh, Isaac… What are we going to do without her?"

"You are going to be an amazing grief counselor, and I will continue to court this lovely lady next to me. She won't really be gone. You know that," Isaac said in a soft voice. The lady, Clara assumed was Mrs. Lancaster, laughed a little as she wiped her eyes.

"Oh course… I know that. I'm just going to miss her. I bet you she's awake now if you want to go see her. She's been sleeping off and on all day. Mr. Lancaster went to the cafeteria. I'll go find him," Isaac smiled and grabbed Clara's hand. When they walked into the room, the sick girl's eyes were open. She smiled weakly when they walked in.

"This the one you keep talking about? She's prettier than you led me to believe," Isaac laughed.

"Hello to you too, Hazel Grace. And I never said she wasn't pretty. I just said I didn't know what she looked like at all." Clara realized this was the first time she'd heard the girls' name.

"You never even asked her did you?" Hazel said like it was an old joke between them.

"You know you are the only one that describes them well. No one else has your touch at description," Isaac said with a twinkle in his eye. Clara could see the sadness behind his smile though.

"Only you would think the fact I'm not afraid to say they look like a sack of potatoes is a good description. So you want one now?"

"Well you are dying. I'm hoping this is the "one" so I won't have to put up with anyone's not totally realistic characterizations," Clara looked at him with surprise at his insensitive comment, but Hazel just laughed. Her laughter turned into coughing very quickly. Isaac took the moment to sit down next to her. He motioned Clara to sit next to him. Once Hazel's coughing fit ended, she turned and looked directly at Clara.

"I assume you already know she has straight hair. It's a very dark chocolate brown. The color of your goodbye eyes cake. Her eyes are so bright green it's almost like she's wearing contacts. Think the tree color in _The Prince of Dawn. _Her nose is pretty straight with a little bit of a bump right at the top. Very Jewish. Her mouth has a full lower lip with a slightly thinner upper lip. They are a little pinker than mine were pre-major sickness," Hazel paused to take a breath.

"Thank you. You can stop. I don't want to tire you out. I can see her," he said with tears welling up in his eyes. "I have some news for you."

"Oh, really? This better be good," She said with a quiet laugh.

"I got put on the list for an eye transplant. I'm set to get a new pair of eyes, babe." Hazel's eyes lit up and she tried to sit up causing her to cough for a minute straight. Clara's jaw dropped as she looked over at Isaac. He had never mentioned it to her.

"WH-what! Isaac that's amazing!" Hazel started crying.

"Eh. What are eyes? Hazel… I'd rather have you here than someone else's eyes," Isaac was almost full out crying now.

"Look who's being sentimental. Don't worry, Isaac… I'll be fine. I may even get to see him. Who knows?" Hazel had tears streaming down as she smiled. "Promise me something, though. Don't end up like Van Houten… I know you feel like you're losing everyone… but you aren't. You have a beautiful girl next to you even after you stared at her for an hour," Clara could see that the effort of talking was taking a lot out of the girl. Each sentence came slower than the last.

"Clara?" Clara focused on Hazel. "It is so nice to meet you. I'm sorry it had to be this way. Please take care of him."

"Of course," Clara said as she cried.

"Isaac, will you go get my mom and dad?" Isaac simply nodded and went to get them. They had been sitting outside to give them some privacy. They replaced the chairs closest to her. Hazel's breath was very slow. "Mom, Dad… I… love… you."

Isaac leaned in and kissed her on the forehead, "Don't worry, baby. I'll read it for him. Because he can't. Don't cry. Please. You'll be okay. You'll be okay… "

"Okay…." Hazel smiled weakly closed her eyes and fell to sleep. Isaac stood up and started walking to the door.

He turned around with tears running down his face and said, "I'm so sorry Mr. and Mrs. Lancaster. Let me know when it happens, okay?"

Hazel's parents were crying as they replied, "of course."

Clara and Isaac's ride home was completely silent. She helped him into the house where they both fell onto the couch in exhaustion. Isaac turned to Clara's general direction, "I'm sorry you had to be there for that. I don't think I could have done it alone."

Clara grabbed his face and kissed him. There was no passion. There was only comfort. "I wouldn't change it for the world. You needed to say goodbye. I am so sorry for all the pain the world has given you." They fell asleep in each other's arms, shielding them from the horrors of the world.

**Four Days Later**

They had gotten the call six hours later. All Clara could do was hold Isaac as he cried. Now she was sitting next to him in a black dress listening to a preacher talk about Hazel like he knew her. Her mom went up to talk, but she became so distraught that a distant relative went up and read her speech for her. When the time came, Clara helped Isaac make his way up to the front. He turned to the crowd and took one final breath before speaking.

"I met Hazel in our Kids with Cancer Support group. We would go and say our spiel and roll our eyes together at the cheesy things people would say," Isaac smiled at the memory. "She and I became good friends the last couple years of her life, but I'm not the one who can tell you best about this amazing girl. You see Hazel had an amazing boyfriend at one time. One I introduced her to might I add. Unfortunately he couldn't make it here today. He left this world two years ago; however he did leave behind something for her. Right before he died, they wrote each other eulogies. So I'm going to let him tell you in his own words about Hazel."

Isaac pulled out the paper and handed it to Clara who still stood beside him. Clara looked at the crowd before. Some were crying. Some were not. She cleared her throat and began, "Van Houten, I'm a good person but a….."

The End


End file.
